The Evidence Jar: Proof You’re Doing Better Than You Think

Yesterday we explored the Positivity Mirror — a simple exercise encouraging us to speak to ourselves with the same kindness we so readily offer to other people. Positive words matter, but sometimes we need something more tangible.

Sometimes we need evidence.

There is good psychology behind that thought.

In their influential 2001 review Bad Is Stronger Than Good, psychologists Roy Baumeister, Ellen Bratslavsky, Catrin Finkenauer and Kathleen Vohs examined evidence across areas including emotions, relationships, learning and memory. Their conclusion was striking: negative information often has a greater psychological impact than equivalent positive information. Bad feedback, for example, can affect us more strongly than good feedback.

Perhaps that explains something many of us recognise. We can remember one criticism for years while allowing countless compliments, small victories and moments of courage to disappear remarkably quickly.

So today we’re creating an Evidence Jar.

Find a jar, box or container and label it

“Evidence That I’m Doing Better Than I Think.” 

Whenever you recognise a personal victory, write it down and put it inside. I tried something new. I handled that better than I once would have. I went even though I was nervous. I was kinder to myself today.

There is a particularly strong connection here with naturism.

In 2018, psychologist Dr Keon West of Goldsmiths, University of London published research specifically examining naturist participation, body image, self-esteem and life satisfaction. Across three studies — including a survey of 849 people and two prospective studies involving actual naturist experiences — greater participation in naturist activities was associated with greater life satisfaction, with positive body image and self-esteem helping to explain that relationship. The prospective studies also found improvements following naturist experiences.

That makes intuitive sense to many of us who have lived naturism. We encounter ordinary human bodies — different ages, shapes, scars, wrinkles and histories — and gradually discover that there was never one correct way for a human being to look.

For someone beginning their naturist journey, their first piece of evidence might simply be “I was nervous, but I went.” Later it might become “I realised nobody was judging me.” Eventually, perhaps, “I didn’t think about my body today. I was simply me.”

And this is where yesterday’s Positivity Mirror comes back.

When confidence needs reminding, take several notes from your Evidence Jar and read them aloud. If you created the mirror, stand in front of it and look at yourself while you do it.

I did this. I coped with that. I was brave enough to try. I kept going.

The Positivity Mirror encourages us to speak to ourselves with kindness.

The Evidence Jar gives us the evidence to believe what we’re saying.

So, what will the first piece of evidence in your jar say about you?

Research referenced: Baumeister et al., Review of General Psychology (2001); West, Journal of Happiness Studies (2018).