I’ve Accidentally Become the Scariest Thing About Halloween

I’ve spent the morning preparing for Halloween, and apparently I’m now the most terrifying woman in North Wales. Not because of my costume, but because I’ve bought the wrong sweets.

My daughter inspected the bowl and informed me that nobody wants the strawberry ones. My son agreed, adding that the chocolate bars were too small. I pointed out that the sweets were free, which apparently makes me sound like an elderly woman who gives trick-or-treaters a satsuma and a lecture about dental hygiene.

Naturally, I decided to improve the display. I found a plastic spider, tucked it between the chocolates and stood back to admire my work. Five minutes later, I forgot it was there, reached into the bowl and screamed so loudly that my son came running downstairs.

He took one look at the spider and said, “Mum, you put that there.”

Thank you, detective. Case closed.

Then I tried the witch’s hat I’d bought for myself. It looked fabulous until I walked through the kitchen doorway and knocked it clean off my head. Twice. Apparently, my house has a height restriction on supernatural activity.

The children have now taken charge of Halloween preparations, which is fine by me.

They’ve rearranged the sweets, moved the spider and informed me that I’m not allowed to answer the door wearing my dressing gown.

Honestly, some people have no appreciation for a woman who wants to be comfortable while distributing confectionery.

I’ve decided to embrace my new reputation. If anyone asks what I’m dressed as tonight, I’m telling them I’m a mother who’s just discovered somebody has eaten the Halloween chocolate before the first trick-or-treater arrives.

No broomstick required. That face is frightening enough.

What’s the funniest Halloween disaster you’ve ever had, and have you ever managed to frighten yourself with your own decorations?