My Man Cheated on Me… In a Dream. And Now He’s in Trouble!

Have you ever woken up absolutely furious with your other half because of something they did in a dream? Because this morning I woke up convinced my man had cheated on me with a woman called Sandra who worked in a garden centre. I don’t know a Sandra. He doesn’t know a Sandra. I’m not even sure which garden centre she works in, but apparently she has fabulous hair and gives him 20% off compost.

Anyway, he rolled over, kissed me and said, “Morning, gorgeous,” and I thought, Oh, you’ve got some nerve, haven’t you? He went downstairs, made me a cup of tea, brought it back to bed and asked why I was being quiet.

BECAUSE OF SANDRA, YOU TWO-TIMING GARDEN GNOME! Obviously, I didn’t say that. I just said, “Nothing,” in that particular tone that means he’s got approximately three minutes to confess to a crime he hasn’t committed. By lunchtime he’d washed up, put the bins out and offered to make dinner, clearly terrified of whatever he’d done. And do you know the worst part? I was actually starting to forgive him when he casually mentioned we needed some compost for the garden. OH, REALLY? AND I SUPPOSE SANDRA’S GOT A SPECIAL OFFER ON YOUR DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS TOO? 

So come on, has your partner ever been in the doghouse for something they did in YOUR dream, and did you eventually forgive them, or are they still serving a sentence for a crime committed by your own subconscious?