The Clocks Went Back. My Children Immediately Filed a Claim.

Whoever decided to give parents an extra hour in bed clearly doesn’t have children, because mine have already claimed it, divided it up and are threatening legal action over the distribution.

My daughter appeared at breakfast demanding an extra hour on her tablet. My son wanted breakfast twice because, apparently, if we get to repeat an hour, we should get to repeat the bacon too. I tried explaining how the clocks work, but honestly, I barely understand it myself. My phone said one time, the oven said another, and the microwave has been living in its own time zone since approximately Easter.

Then my daughter asked whether we could vote on which clock was correct. My son voted for the oven because it meant lunch was closer. I voted for whichever clock meant everybody would leave me alone for twenty minutes.

There I was, sitting at the kitchen table, drinking my tea and attempting to explain British Summer Time to two children who apparently believe Greenwich Mean Time is a government conspiracy to reduce their screen time. And suddenly I wondered whether the clocks going backwards meant I could revisit 2018 and deliver that absolutely devastating comeback I thought of six hours after an argument.

Because THAT would be an excellent use of time.

Anyway, I’d decided my extra hour would be spent doing absolutely nothing. No cleaning, no washing, no organising. Just me, a hot cup of tea and sixty glorious minutes of peace.

I managed seven.

“Mum, can I have my extra hour now?”

“No, sweetheart.”

“But you said everybody got one!”

“Yes, but it doesn’t work like that.”

“So where’s mine gone?”

I looked at the clock, looked at my tea, which had already gone cold, and realised I’d spent my entire extra hour explaining why nobody was getting an extra hour.

Honestly, if we’re going to mess about with time, could we at least move the clocks forward to when the children have moved out?

So come on, did you actually enjoy your extra hour in bed, or did your family spend it before you’d even got downstairs?