Women in Naturism: My Story – Caitlin
Growing up, I was always taught to be careful. Hide a little. Cover up. Stay safe. Don’t draw too much attention to yourself and, above all, don’t put yourself in a position where you might become a target.
Yet at the same time, society seemed to expect something completely different from me. I was supposed to shine, thrive, think independently, be intelligent and insightful, trust my instincts, challenge ideas and somehow remain humble through all of it. There can be quite a contradiction in being a young woman: be confident, but not too confident; be visible, but always be conscious of being seen.
Earlier this year I completed my degree, and looking back, university taught me far more than my academic discipline. It taught me to think differently, to listen to other people’s ideas and experiences, and to be open enough to question the things I had previously accepted without thinking. Perhaps most importantly, university taught me to question things properly — and, naturally, to reference everything!
Naturism came into my life while I was at university through friends. We went along to a naturist swim and later joined some organised walks. At first it was simply something new, something outside the life I had previously known. I don’t think I realised quite how much it would change the way I thought about myself.
Because the biggest lesson naturism has given me is actually a very simple one:
It’s OK to be me.
For so much of our lives, particularly as women, we are encouraged to look at ourselves through everybody else’s eyes. What will people think? How do I look? Am I attractive enough? Am I showing too much? Am I hiding enough? Am I behaving in the way somebody else expects me to?
Naturism began stripping away some of those questions.
It taught me not to shy away from myself. It helped me accept my body rather than constantly judging it, and somewhere along the way I began learning that accepting myself and loving myself weren’t things I had to earn.
And strangely, once I became more comfortable simply being myself, I felt more able to do all those other things society had always told me I should do: think independently, trust my instincts, thrive and shine.
That, for me, is what naturism has become. It isn’t simply about being without clothes. It is about being without some of the expectations and insecurities we carry around with us too.
Finding Naturism Wales has added something else to that journey: belonging.
Being welcomed into a community where I feel able to be myself, rather than feeling that I need to perform some version of myself for everybody else, means far more than I expected it would.
So perhaps the lesson I have taken from university and naturism isn’t actually all that different.
Question what you have been taught. Listen to other people. Think for yourself.
And occasionally realise that the person you have been trying so hard to become was already there.
It’s OK to be me.
Thank you, Naturism Wales, for helping me feel that I can truly belong.
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